Navin R. Johnson - Beginner Ironman

With apologies to Steve Martin

Hey, any of you bums ever heard of Navin R. Johnson? 




(In case you are wondering, Navin R. Johnson was Steve Martin’s character

in the classic 1979 film “The Jerk”.)


I am not a bum - I'm a beginner Ironman. I once had 

money, time, and a body that was not perpetually sore 

in new places.  Now, I only have two things, my bike 

and . . . uh . . . my thermos.


Huh? My story? O.K.


It was always easy for me. I was born a relatively 

wealthy white child. I remember the days sitting on 

the couch with my family, happily eating and watching 

television down in Phoenix.


The one day, I heard about an Ironman race.  It spoke 

to me. I decided, well if this out there, just think 

how much more is out there! This is the kind of event 

that tells me to go out there and be somebody. So, 

because I didn’t know shit from Shinola,I decided to 

register for an Ironman race. 


Now I am just a typical random bastard wannabe 

Ironman, but I do have a special purpose. Things are 

going to start happening to me now.(However, some days

I wish I would have just taken up cat juggling 

instead.)


Since I signed up for Ironman Arizona on November 18, 

that means I have been in training for five weeks and 

two days, but to me it seems like nine weeks and five 

days. The first day seemed like a week, and the second

day seemed like five days, and the third day seemed 

like a week again. . . . I have it written down, and I

can show it to you tomorrow if you want to see it.


So far, I don’t know too much about training for an 

Ironman,but it seems that the advice that Navin’s 

parents gave him applies equally to training for your 

first Ironman – “Lord loves a working man, don't trust

whitey,see a doctor and get rid of it.”





==============================================


OK.  That was fun quoting from my favorite movie of 

all time.  



The real story is that I truly am just some typical 

random bastard trying to do his first Ironman.  I am a

49 years old guy, and I will be 50 when I actually get

around to doing my race next November. Before I signed

up, I was at best an average distance runner.  I had 

run cross-country and track in high school, but I 

stopped running when I went to college, and didn't 

really run for the next 25 years. When I was 43, I 

decided to start running again to try and lose some 

weight.  I found that I kind of liked running, and 

later got talked into joining a local running group. 



Although I enjoy running, I was never anything 

special. Before I signed up for the Ironman, I had run

three marathons, and my best time was only 4:11. I had

run several half marathons, and my best time was only 1:54. 



After about five years of running, I was getting a 

little bored training for and running the same races 

every year. A married couple in my running group 

decided last year to do their first Ironman this past 

November to celebrate turning 50 this year. For some 

reason, I thought that was a really cool idea, and I 

decided that if they survived, maybe I would try it 

the following year when I was turning 50.  To insure I

could get in if I decided I really wanted to do this, 

I volunteered at Ironman Arizona in 2013.  Watching 

the race as a volunteer was fun, and I got wrapped up 

in the excitement of the race and decided I would go 

ahead and register. As they say - "it seemed like a 

good idea at the time."



After shelling out $740, it started sinking in that 

this was going to be a big challenge for me.  Although

I was an average runner, I had not done any real 

swimming in over 20 years, and I didn't even own a 

bicycle.  



I don't really know what I hope to accomplish with 

this Blog, other than to tell my story so that anyone 

else who is considering their first Ironman, or has 

registered for their first race, can learn from my 

experiences and the many mistakes I am sure I will 

make along the way. I invite you to follow me as I 

try to survive the next year of training.



Merry Christmas to all - and to all a good night.